Sunday, November 16, 2008


A to nigdy presta.
Hi. It's Sunday. I don't remember the last week that well. I didn't sleep much. I think last week was the week with the banquet? I don't know. I don't care. My world and my mind and my dreams that I get when I do sleep all smoosh together and a week is more like a month for me, but goes by as fast as a day. And then I can't tell the difference between what's happening and what only happened in my mind. It's tough to keep in touch with reality. It doesn't call very often. It's like a long distance relationship with someone who cheats constantly anyhow and doesn't know the meaning of "comitted" unless it has to do with sitting in a prison cell. You're not required to know what the hell I'm talking about. People have been getting either pissed at me or annoyed with me alot lately. Now I found out why. "Why don't you care about anything?" That's why. Because I can't and you have to deal with it. And I don't care if you want to deal with it or not, if you don't, then you can go fuck a goat. Whew, haven't used that line since 7th grade. Good times.... I want better grades because I want my parents to think I'm smarter than they think I am. But i don't know if I care enough to actually accomplish that little goal. I guess we'll find out. Remember that painting? Yeah. I'm still working on it. But I'm afraid to sometimes because I don't want to mess up what I've gotten so far. And I don't even have that much stuff painted on it yet. >.< My mind bothers me. I'd switch with someone else. Even with someone brainwashed. But then again... I don't know if I have the courage to stop thinking. Ever had a dream about your parents' bosses coming to your house mutated and fused with 4 other people that are a couple feet taller than them, it raining on your nice rug, people sleeping in your room, your sister laughing at you for being "sick", and your mother gagging you with a toothbrush? Yeah. I know you haven't. Tomorrow is school. Tomorrow is indoor track. I love running. But I don't want to go. I hate school, so of course I don't want to go. I want to get out of there. I hate evverything about it. My calendat's empty and yet, it feels like it's overpacked. I don't like it. I cut my hair when I have nothing else to do. And yet it grows so fast anyhow. *shrugs* I don't obey me. It can get irritating. I hope your guyses week isn't as much of a blur after it passes by as mine.
It's because I'M TRAPPED!

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