Monday, February 23, 2009


Read between the lines.
Bite between the joints.

Friday, February 20, 2009

When the world wants to kick you out, you have to be ready, pucker up, and kiss it good bye. When your hair grows in front of your face and you say you don't have difficulty seeing, don't like to yourself and chop it off. When the window has been open for a month and then a freezing breeze finally blows through, it's time to close the window and close the door. When your bones hurt from doing something you love, you're simply facing another situation with a crush that's not mutual. When you walked slow because of this before, and run fast because of that now, your glass is out of water. When your throat is dry and there's nothing around, it means you're supposed to stop looking. When you look down and see smoke; when you listen up and hear shouts, when you breathe in and smell memories, then the clothes hanging in your closet must go. When you open your eyes as the sun comes up but everything else goes down, it not time to get up. When you walk down the street and your shoes are heavy, it's not time to go. When you linger through the halls and your completely invisible, it's not time to wander. Floating down the stairs in a daze, stepping out through the glass, if the air stings your skin, it's not time to move. Don't be frightened of that reflection, you'll be seeing it alot more soon. The scabs on your toungue make it hard to taste the sugar, but it wasn't very sweet to begin with. The scars on your face have no meaning and have no purpose but to get them all away. Washed up on the beach, you look like a monster. Before you fell from atop, though, you were a loved one. Staring from across the room, every choice you make will mark mistakes down your spine. Every step you take brings you closer to failure. Every word you utter sounds like stupidity swimming through the air. If your hands are shaking and your pours aren't dry and you swallowed a stone that is now stuck in your throat, turn away. Open your mouth and no words come out. Flex but your vocals are numb. You might as say you're pondering whilst your mind is completely blank. When fire grows inside of you and your teeth are falling loose, stare at the ceiling cause it's there to stay. Yes, the sand will burn your feet and the sun will burn your skin, but the water will freeze the rest. Starve yourself of the things you think you need. Envelope yourself in the imaginary things you want. Living with the solution. Living inside your own skull. We have found a path to your enlightment. Words are speaking truth. If it makes sense, YOU LOSE.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


It's because I give up too early.
It's because when someone gets by, I get discouraged.
It's because I don't intend to make a different impression.
It's because I think I bother everyone.
It's because there's no way you'd talk to me anyway.
It's because no one has good intentions.
It's because I can't meet they're expectations.
It's because I'm always to blame.
It's because I don't know how to be proud of myself.

Friday, February 6, 2009


Whilst you grind your teeth, I grind my shins.
Heart aches aren't replaced with shin splints.
Just accompanied by them.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


If I was born in a waggon to a circus family, my name would be Harper. I would only listen to circus music and wonder where my dad went. My mother would be of no inspiration to me. I wouldn't even be accepted by the freakshows at the circus because I'd have some kind of disease where I'd constantly have spiders crawling on me. Like a spider magnet. It'd make me paranoid and I'd always think someone was standing behind me. I'd be born with no talent whatsoever except the ability to not feel it when someone's burning my skin. Which isn't a talent necessarily, but more of some freak thing that would just...happen to come along with my inhuman biological structure. I'd be afraid of noise. Some nights I wouldn't sleep and other times I'd sleep for two days straight. I'd be stuck there and have no place to go. No one would fall in love with me. I'd have one friend and it would be the blind clown on the stilts that scares all the children away. He'd tell me stories about the people who'be succeeded in their lives. On the nights that I couldn't sleep, I'd wonder what the word "purpose" meant but I'd never learn. I'd always want to make a quilt but I never would. Never. I'd fall in love with a boy who brought his amazing girlfriend to the circus every year. I'd never speak to him, and barely look at him. One day, I'd be in one of my sleeping through a couple days moods and the circus would set on fire. I would set on fire. But I wouldn't know it. One day I would wake up in a bright townhouse in Virginia. There'd be way more people in the townhouse than you'd think it could hold. The townhouse would be cleverly named Pergatory for 'reason unknown'. It would talk to you and answer any question you have in detail and honesty. But of course, when the plug is pulled, I would have the sudden urge to ask the question. "Heaven or Hell?" The townhouse was the only thing I'd talk to. It never directly answered my question but I knew the answer. There was a question I wanted to know the answer to the most from the beginning, but that was the only question the townhouse wouldn't answer. "What is purpose?" I suppose I was in hell.

When you're brought up in a circus with no one to talk to, you never learn proper English. I would have always spoken with incorrect grammar. Like broken English with no actual accent. I suppose that's why the townhouse would never answer that question. I'd leave out simple things like 'the' and'my' often. I knew that wasn't the question I wanted to know the answer to most. I would have wanted to know what was my purpose specifically. I suppose the townhouse figured that that's what I would have been asking since my English wouldn't have been that good. But it's answer was legit. It said nothing.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Oh Mark Jubert

Blogging sucks without you. But I know you still stalk people's blogs. Don't deny it.

I really wanted track today because I was staring out the window during....some class....I really can't rememver what class it was at all. Anyway, it looked like it was going to rain. But no that obnoxious freezing winter rain. It looked like pretty warm fun to run in summer rain. God I love summer rain. Hurry the fuck up summer! Before I beat up your friends!

I've had a headache since Saturday. I'd appreciate it if it went away.

People have to stop naming their children such common names. I know way too many people with the same name. They might as well be the same goddamn people.

Bet you if I don't call, you won't call either. YOU'RE ON!

I'm making a birthday list. So far, I have three things on it.
1)Lots of scotch tape
2)Self discipline (I'm hoping this one will just appear because of my age since people seem to think that you suddenly turn mature at a certain age)
3)Sleeping pills from Roots.

I'll add to it when I want more stuff.

My classes suck. Oh well.